So, now that we’re into the New Year, New Me season in full force, I already have a confession; I am dreading rewriting the second half of the Autumn Mage. And it’s not that rewriting the same story that I’ve been working on in one form or another for the past five years isn’t fun anymore (it isn’t), it’s that I know it’s the weaker half.
It isn’t weaker in terms of story; I made sure to slowly build one chapter on top of the other. My biggest weakness when I first started down this rabbit hole is the thoughts in my mind play out in a way that makes sense to me, but when read, does little more than enrage my editor.
No; what I’m worried about is the simple notion that I am more than likely going to have to completely gut not only entire chapters, but entire plot lines. And I know it’s coming. For me, the closest thing I can equate this feeling to is when you walked into class on Friday morning, forget you had a quiz, were forced to attempt it, and then had to spend all weekend with that awful, terrible grade gnawing away at the pit of your stomach. By Saturday afternoon you just want to go see how bad it was to get it over with.
My final act was ambitious to say the least. And while ambition is good, there’s always the risk of having too much going on at once. I blended government secrets, espionage, Greek mythology, and traditional fantasy. It’s a fiction smoothie, and I’m sure my accomplished writing friend choked on quite a bit of it.
I understand fully the benefit of rewriting and editing your story. I know that in its current stage it isn’t ready yet. And I do want it ready. This is the biggest project I’ve ever undertaken for myself, and it excites and terrifies me all at once. Self doubt has always been one of my biggest weaknesses, and I’m afraid of flying close to the sun and allowing myself to crash and burn.
It’s harder to get motivated to edit, too. I took November off and worked on some short stories, which I will finish probably around 201whenever, and I honestly don’t care if it becomes anything or not. It was simply a way to get my creative juices flowing. But now I have fear creeping back in, and it’s like that big final project that you’ve had all semester to do; it needs to be finished yesterday, and you’re petrified to fail at it.
And so I will press on. It’s tough, and honestly, for me, this has been the most difficult part of the process. I know others will find it easier, and other still will struggle with it more than I am. But you have to burn the woods down to fertilize the soil again, and I do enjoy a good fire.
If any other writer pals have any tips for kicking your own butt back in gear for rewriting, please let me know with a comment below. I’m still very new at all of this and I love hearing more experienced people’s advice! And if you need help with your writing projects, just drop me a line and I’m more than happy to assist you.